


I Must Love You Or Die

by iamtheleftbrain



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Canon Compliant, Falling In Love, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 20:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamtheleftbrain/pseuds/iamtheleftbrain
Summary: A series of letters Aziraphale and Crowley wrote to each other.





	I Must Love You Or Die

**Author's Note:**

> No i did not proof read and I wrote it at 4am for fun thank you for reading  
THIS IS A FAN SERVICE TO ME SMH

It was Aziraphale who initiated it. Crowley just happened to be so enraptured in the concept that they kept it up for 700 years. It was tradition, they thought. They never missed the day.

On October 31st, both angel and demon were expecting a letter from their rival and companion.

_ Dear Crowley, _

_ I hope you had a wonderful creation anniversary. Have you gotten up to any bastardly deeds lately? I think I saw something very much like your work earlier this week, but couldn't find you around. Hopefully Downstairs appreciated it although it wasn't very evil of you. _

_ Today, October 31, 1402, is _ our _ anniversary. When we met on top of the wall. I decided to write to you just to tell you how much I've appreciated your company throughout the many, many centuries. You've kept me on my toes. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Aziraphale. _

Crowley had received the neatly rolled letter, tied eloquently with a satin white ribbon, when he was having a drink. A local pub with nonstop folk music. He was planning on snapping some inconveniences into existence. Maybe the musician will forget how to play, or a rat with destroy all of the perishables. But instead, he got drunk. 

He went to a secluded spot in the pub and read it over and over. Being drunk was not helping him understand why Aziraphale had written him a letter and not had simply popped up to tell him whatever news he had. Crowley decided it wasn't Aziraphale's style. He needed the flare. The evil demon snapped his own supplies onto a poorly crafted wooden table. A red ribbon, paper, and a quill pen.

_ Aziraphale, _

_ Hy. I've been asleep for a fortnight, so whatever you saw was simply humans being humans. What was it? You can tell me over lunch. Meet me at the pub _ Ye Olde... _ uh something. I can't remember. The one we got drunk at and listened to a bard recite a poem about a goat with three eyes. We'll celebrate our anniversary with a drink. _

_ Good-bye, _

_ Crowley. _

Crowley rolled the letter up. He did his very best at tying the red ribbon around the paper, but it wasn't pretty. He snapped and it popped into Aziraphale's hand as he was walking across town.

-

The two celestial beings would write short-

_ Dearest Angel, _

_ You make my mind quiet and my heart scream. _

_ Love, _

_ Crowley _

Or long letters.

_ My Crowley, _

_ I'm not quite sure if you know this, but it was a 20 years or so ago. You had spent the night in my bookshop. You're so accustomed to sleep. Not sure whether I envy you or think you're silly for it. You're a demon after all...you don't need sleep. But you look so peaceful while you do. You take your sunglasses off and your eyelids look heavy. You lay down and you seem to let go all of your worries and drift to sleep. I've seen you asleep. In your own home. This time was different. You were with me. Your big, stylish hair surrounded your face and your breathing steadied. You still keep up an image for the humans when you're asleep. I could have kissed you then. Not as in opportunity, but as in love. I just wanted to know… were you awake when I brushed the hair from your face and you whispered my name? _

_ With Love, _

_ Aziraphale _

Within minutes of Crowley receiving Aziraphale's letters, the angel always got his own shortly after. 

_ My Angel, _

_ I was awake. _

_ Love, _

_ Crowley _

-

Even when the two were busy with their own domestic responsibilities, they wrote to each other.

_ Dear, _

_ The worst thing about being an angel is I cannot love you. But I do. _

_ Love. _

The previous letter was Crowley a favorite.

_ Love, _

_ The worst thing about being a demon is I cannot love you. But I do. I do. _

_ Dear. _

The previous letter was Aziraphale's favorite.

-

They never discussed the letters face to face. The letters didn't exist, but their love did. Angel and Demon knew what the other said and what the other felt. When in public, where walls have ears, they were hell and heaven. A small arrangement that made things easier were the only thing between them. 

In the low, soft glow of Aziraphale's bookshop, they were each other's. Only the books could scold them. 

In the white, dusty light of Crowley's apartment, they touched and held one another. Only his plants could judge them, but they wouldn't dare. 

_ Crowley, _

_ My miracle was you. _

_ Love, _

_ Aziraphale _

On paper they were star-crossed lovers. If any historians got a hold of their earlier letters, it wouldn't be very coherent to them, all things considering. 

_ Angel, _

_ Shouldn't I have freckles by now? _

_ With Love, _

_ Crowley _

_ Demon, _

_ You should have plenty. It is our anniversary, however… _

_ My bookshop or your apartment?, _

_ Aziraphale _

Aziraphale could have sworn he heard the Bentley's tire screech from inside his bookshop that day. 

-

The two decided they liked the not-so-secret-secret-code-names.

_ Angel, _

_ Do you remember that white coat you wore on one of our meetings? It went down to your knees and it had a set of golden buttons all down the front. You had some lovely cream coloured trousers on, too. I think you had a lovely cane as well. The coat was cinched at the waist I think? You wore it on one of our anniversary nights a few centuries ago. It ended up on one of your book stacks, and your trousers ended up on the floor. You might have had a top hat as well. I think… I threw it across the shop to make you laugh. You looked very nice that night. _

_ With Love, _

_ Demon _

_ Demon, _

_ I think I remember your outfit that night as well. Hmm… you had a coat that wrapped nicely around your waist. _ Yours _ was cinched, my dear, not mine. The coat, I believe, had a tail coat that formed a cartoon snakes tongue. Your trousers were skin tight and went under your shiny, black boots. Your cravat was red and had a very nice lace detail. Such a shame you had gone and ripped it trying to get it off it in a hurry. Your trousers ended up lost, and your coat was still on you. But with all the buttons torn off. Really… why _ were _ you in such a hurry, dear? _

_ Lots of love, _

_ Angel _

-

The letters got scarce when the Antichrist was born. They still found time, though.

"Nanny, what are you doing?" Warlock asked one day. She was in his father's study, obviously breaking some kind of rule. He couldn't decide which, it was _ Nanny _ after all. 

"I'm writing a letter, dear," She said. She was scribbling, not caring about penmanship.

"To who?" Warlock asked with natural 7 year old curiosity. 

"The Gardener."

"About what?" 

"About how he's _ annoying _."

Warlock thought that wasn't very nice, but Nanny wasn't very nice to begin with. 

"Okay. Why is he annoying? Is it because he made you pet a snail?" 

"No, dear. It's the good kind of annoying."

Warlock turned his head like a confused puppy. 

"The _ good _annoying?!"

_ Angel, _

_ Do you remember when we first said the forbidden three words to one another? When you were reading aloud, and I was pretending not to listen? When you looked at home in your little bookshop, with your books, with your hot cocoa and little apple slices, and with… me. I looked at you and I felt not good, not evil, just there. I decided that day that you made me feel at home. I think I, when I'm in your presence, feel the same as you when you take off your coat, and read the night away at your desk. Relaxed, Happy, content, and peaceful. It annoys me how visceral my love is for you. _

_ Love, _

_ Demon. _

_ (P.S. Warlock is a kind child. Congratulations.) _

_ \- _

Warlock got to hand deliver Nanny's letter, _ but he must not look! _Nanny will find out if he had, and he will be in so much trouble he will no longer be able to tell up from down. 

Warlock handed Brother Francis the red envelope. He was still too terrified to try to peak when Francis opened it.

Whatever Nanny must have wrote made Brother Francis _ very _happy. He smiled and exposed his big, ugly teeth. Warlock giggled. 

When Brother Francis started to write his own letter Warlock decided to play safe and not peak. 

"Are you writing back to Nanny?" Warlock asked.

The Gardener said, "Indeed, Young Warlock!" 

"About what?"

"How much she means to me. I care an awful lot about her." Brother Francis' voice became soft.

Usually Francis could be described as a human exclamation mark, and Warlock noticed this very abrupt change easily.

"Are you and Nanny married?"

Brother Francis looked up. Nanny was watching from one of the estates many balconies. She gave a little wave to two of them. "No, Warlock, we aren't."

"Do you love her?" Warlock asked.

"Very much so." 

"Like daddy loves mommy?" 

"I suppose…," Francis' bushy eyebrows raised.

"Does she love you?" 

Francis took a moment to answer, "Yes." 

"Like mommy loves daddy?"

"I suppose…" 

"You guys should get married." 

The gardener put his own letter into a beige colored envelope. "Go run this to Nanny, dear boy. Don't peak at it." Warlock thought Francis' accent had changed, but ran up the yard towards Nanny without asking. 

_ Demon, _

_ I do remember that night. You begged me to come to the couch with you. To stop reading and to lay with you. To kiss and touch you. So I did. We laid on the couch together. You were in and out of sleep. Everytime you woke up you patted me somewhere. My back, my side, my shoulder, anywhere you could reach. Just to make sure I was still there. You finally relaxed completely, and I whispered in your ear that I loved you and I will always love you. You opened your eyes at my voice. You said the same, and went back to sleep. I took the chance to kiss your eyelids and temples. I held your hands and kissed your palms. I held your sleeping face and pressed my forehead to yours. _

_ Love, _

_ Angel _

_ (P.S Warlock is a bastard child. Congratulations.) _

-

_ My Angel, _

_ If they come for us, I'll fight. I'll fight Heaven and Hell for you. Hastur already has his suspicions. _

_ Love, _

_ Demon _

-

_ Crowley, _

_ I'm sorry for what I've said. Please meet me at my bookshop today, so I can apologize properly. Maybe we can find a way to stop all of this. _

_ Love, _

_ Aziraphale _

_ (P.S Please fight with me) _

This letter did not get a reply. Crowley skipped Aziraphale's date that night. He was going to go to Alpha Centauri with or without the angel. 

-

_ My Love, My Heart, _

_ Our first anniversary since the world did not end. We don't have to hide anymore. Heaven and Hell stopped watching. I can feel it. They're scared of us. Isn't that funny? Of _ us! _ A demon who doesn't have an evil bone in his body and an angel with an evil bone or two. They're small bones, but they're there. I know I'm staying in your apartment at the moment and writing letters seem… not needed, but… Anyway, maybe we could go out someday. Be ourselves. Be our letters. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Aziraphale _

_ My Dearest, _

_ I'm plenty evil. BUT yes, I've noticed the paranoia of eyes on us has gone down. They're scared alright. We both gave them a hell…(and heaven?) of a show! We can finally meet. The people in these letters. I have some questions about your stationary. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Crowley _

_ (P.S We don't have to stop the letters, angel, but I cannot wait to speak these 700 years worth of words into existence. I'll love you always, and this proves that heaven and hell cannot keep us apart.) _

Aziraphale was in the apartment bedroom. He had finished the letter, and opened the door to meet Crowley in his study. 

Crowley was in the hallway. 

"We're ineffable," The demon said. 

"Destined." The angel corrected. He was starting to hate that word.

They both smiled


End file.
